Edward's Nocturnes
by liebedero
Summary: PERMANENT HIATUS! Set shortly after Edward is changed his life's ups & downs A lot better than it sounds Carlisle Edward father son bonding no Slaxh Rated t for some serious depression and a bit of a disturbing chapter.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Originally each chapter was meant to be inspired by a nocturne but this first chapter is an Etude. Each chapter will instead be inspired by a different pianopiece but I just love the name! Etude in C minor is a piano piece by Chopin that I can picture Edward playing. Set shortly after Edward is changed. Carlisle/Edward but no slash just some father son bonding!**

**P.S. if piano terms ever need explaining please ask I'll be happy to enlighten you (I have been playing for 7 years)**

**Nefertiri**

One – Etude in C minor op.25 no.12

Edward awoke from the daze of burning, fiery pain. His head was ringing slightly and his throat burned with thirst, a new kind of thirst. Something about him was different, he could tell that already. The dreary hospital surroundings had disappeared. He was lying on his back in an extremely comfortable bed. He sat up slowly, the old pain that had enveloped him was completely gone but his head was still ringing. He could hear people talking but the room he was in was seemingly empty. Edward scouted his surroundings. The room was decorated very tastefully in Victorian style and a large grand piano could be seen just out of the corner of his eye.

In one swift, fluid movement he was on his feet. A perceptible difference already met his eye as he rounded a corner and came face to face with his new self. Edward simply gawked. How? When? The last thing he could remember was the hospital and the nurse telling him that he wouldn't live much longer than his parents or siblings had. Then there was the Doctor, the Gabrielic angel of a doctor, with the perfect face and the sad tired eyes, telling Edward that he was going to die, but that he would do everything in his power to save Edward. Then there was the doctor's hand, cold as death itself, turning his head at an angle, exposing his neck so that the doctor could lean down and in to…The burning pain had engulfed him then and black flaring fire. He decided to ignore the newfound questions that burned in his head worse than the blaze had.

Edward walked over to the shiny Grand Emerson. The ivory was almost whiter than his skin and the ebony almost blacker than his eyes. He sat down playing imaginarily over the keys, his fingers gliding. It wouldn't hurt to play would it? His fingers itched to touch it. Music filled the air, the rich tone of the Emerson wafting around Edward as he played, surrounding himself in the fury of the song. It was a minor tune that was calming to him despite the furious nature of the song, reminding him of a time when he hadn't been sick, and was whirling Lydia around on the dance floor of the Ralston House where he had attended his last party. That time had seemed so long ago yet it had only been a couple weeks since the agony of pain that the Spanish influenza had provoked in his body. Lydia! What had happened to her? Had she contracted the disease too? He remembered that it had been himself to have first gotten it. And if Lydia his love was alive and well, where was she and was she worried, for him? Edward dismissed the thoughts almost immediately, it was not the time to be thinking about that, and continued to concentrate on his beautiful music.

"Hello,"

The single word uttered by the melodic voice startled him out of his trance. His music continued however uninterrupted. "Hello," he replied never even bothering to look to the owner of the voice.

"You play beautifully, even more beautifully than the last time I heard you at one of your concerts, Edward, before you got sick." _Before you died._

That was cause enough for his music to stop abruptly. "What do you mean died!" Edward had stood up and in flurry of movement was standing inches away from the doctor's face.

With a force Edward could not have imagined possible he was flung across the length of the hotel room and landed on the bed. Less than half a second later the doctor was on top of him holding him forcefully down. His face was calm.

"You must listen and be patient with me Edward. My name is Doctor Carlisle Cullen and I was born the mid 1640's. You need to trust me," he added at the look on Edward's face. Slowly the pressure was released from Edward's shoulders and Carlisle allowed him to sit up. He walked over to the bedside table and picked up a glass of red liquid, and gave it to Edward.

"Drink that and listen.Your mother, Elizabeth, knew that she was going to die. She knew that her husband had died and that her other younger children had died. She knew that you, Edward, the first to contract the disease and the one who had gotten it the worst, was going to die too. It was her dying wish that I save your life whatever the cost. You, her first child and only son were very dear to her, and I vowed that I would save you. Then your mother died. Your health was deteriorating more quickly now and I had no time left to dig into the science of Medicine to help you, I had to do what ever necessary, at what ever the cost. I have been lonely for a very, very long time Edward and I knew that saving you was my first priority. If you don't mind I'd like to take you in, as my own son," Carlisle paused to look at Edward and then went on. "You were on the brink of death and I couldn't loose you then so I brought you somewhere that no one would be watching, and I saved you," The words were awkward in his perfect mouth. Explaining was something new to him, explaining this that was. "I had to change you, you would have died otherwise. Three days later you had finished the agonizing change that I had gone through once before as well, the change into, into…" Carlisle couldn't finish his sentence.

_The change into a vampire. _The words spoken in his thoughts were like words spoken aloud to Edward. The shock of this realization was evident on his face as Carlisle studied him.

Edward's mouth went dry and his breaths, which now felt strangely odd he noticed, came ragged. _I'm dinking someone's blood._ "I'm a, I'm a monster," And then he stopped breathing entirely, an odd feeling since it was no hard task any longer but strangely difficult to be without a sense of smell.

Carlisle noticed and smiled slightly. "You no longer have to breathe Edward; it is just sort of a reflex, out of habit more than necessity. When I was changed I acted the same way you did. I saw what a monster I had become, but I found a better way to survive. Instead of drinking human blood, I resisted the lure, the pull of the fragrance that human blood has, somehow and resigned myself to the wilderness where I found my thirst worse than the three day transformation I had just survived. I drank animal blood; it was no different than hunting was before. It was a humane way to exist with the world. I'm asking you to join me, Edward as I have no other companion but we can no longer stay here,"

"And why is that doctor?"

"You may call me Carlisle," he stood and went over to the bedside table. _When I said in my thoughts that you were dead I meant it, both bodily and to the people of your world._ He handed Edward a newspaper; the front head line stared him in the face.

**Among many dead from the Influenza Epidemic is Piano prodigy Edward Anthony Masen. Family name dies with him.**

_You have died Edward, feel your heart, it no longer beats, you soul has been ripped from your body and taken away, were to I know not. _Carlisle continued in his head._ You are impenetrable Edward, hard as stone. You and I, we are inhuman Adonises, our looks are perfect, our age fixated in time. Vampires never change. You will be seventeen the rest of your immortal life Edward. We are like inhuman, devil gods, demons from Hell that will never die. But we don't have to be monsters, Edward; we can use our gifts for good. Our inhuman speed and agility, our refined senses they will become all that is good about us. I have studied medicine for a long time young man, I know more about my profession than anyone else on earth, I use my gift for good. _"We don't have to be monsters, Edward," Carlisle repeated aloud sitting down next to him putting his hand on Edward's back comfortingly. Edward only nodded. Carlisle nodded back and smiled sadly. "I suppose that your throat is burning with thirst, shall we hunt?"

To Carlisle's immense surprise Edward shook his head. "No, my throat my burns with thirst but I need to rest, to take this all in," Edward stood up and once again walked over to the piano and sat down at the bench, his mind reclaiming the spot where he had left of with his Etude. The music flowed effortlessly as always and Carlisle sat down to listen as Edward played.

At the end of the song Carlisle applauded bringing a small smile to Edward's grim face. "Etude in C minor, op.25 no. 12, am I correct?" Edward nodded and reshuffled the music in his head; something more lively was in order, perhaps some Mozart. Alla Turca began to fill the room as Edwards's photographic memory began to spread the sheet music out on the stand. After every song Carlisle applauded and named the song. At the end of the private concert Edward stood and bowed, a stunning grin adorning his face. Nothing could make Edward as happy as his music. "Thank you for your support, Carlisle," Edward gave due his thanks to the doctor. "Thank you for," he paused in search of the appropriate words.

"You're welcome," Carlisle replied before Edward could continue and ushered him over to the door adding in his thoughts, for Edward's benefit, _Time to hunt young one, soon we will have quenched your thirst, but for now compose yourself, you never know when these human will be up. It is the middle of the night!_


	2. Chapter 2

**Ins****pired by Album-Blatt op. 117 and Barcorolle I own nothing of Stephenie Meyer's but Edward sosexy Anthony Masen Cullen WILL be mine! Mwahahaha! Ohh and I do promise that at least one of then will be inspired by a Nocturne!**

**Nefertiri**

Two- Album-Blatt op. 117 and Barcorolle

Living with Carlisle was a good life. He truly cared for Edward, never letting his guard down in the beginning just incase Edward was tempted and the pain and the lure of the smell of some poor human's blood became too much for him. Where ever they went Carlisle made sure there was a piano to keep Edward occupied and happy. And every night Carlisle would sit down to one of Edwards's concerts, naming every piece he played, and asking for an encore if he didn't recognize the song so that he might lean it's name. They lived in many places across America and then they moved to Italy. It was the most beautiful place Edward had ever seen, nothing quite like it had ever been imagined before. The balcony of their villa was overlooking the ocean and music of a violin could be heard wafting on the breeze to Edward's keen ears. The music was distinctly joyous and sweet but Edward was in no mood for the Italian love song. His mood was black and stormy as the sea they had crossed two days ago.

The time spent here was for one purpose only – to convince some of Carlisle's acquaintances to change to the "vegetarian diet" Carlisle's doctrine preached. But Edward had no time to enjoy it. Of late he had begun to miss his old life, the one were he was an almost famous pianist in Chicago with a mother and father and two little sisters who pestered him for affection. He was trying to remember them as much as he could, for try as he might to retain them his memories of the other life were beginning to slip away like the music on the wind. It was the first twilight of Edward's life as a Vampire, one of many to come. He sat down the piano that Carlisle had acquired for him, to compose, but another song captured his fancy. The notes flowed from the sheet music in his head and onto the keys. The ritardando smoothed from a minor adagio to a sweet and sad legato melody impersonating his mood. They flowed smoothly together but the music did nothing to calm Edward's thoughts. They grew into a tempest and the song ended on a sour note. Edward threw his arms up in the air and brought them down placing his head in his hands, his elbows resting on the keys, the sour tune ringing like an alarm.

He began to weep in tearless sobs as he remembered his little twin sisters. They had been six when they died. Clarisse and Madeline had teased him and laughed at him and loved him. Their little lives had been so full of promise. And then the new life that had been blooming inside of his mother had been extinguished as well. Where was all the good in the world? _Carlisle is part of it,_ the voice that spoke in the back of Edward's head replied to his inner doubts. _No! No! I will not be succumbed to this. If all the humanity in the world is being consumed but the evil then I will seek it out and destroy it! I will hunt down the murderers and rapists. I will make them pay for the cruelty of the world and maybe, just maybe the world will become better. Our world has gone to Hell!_

_Just like I will._

The voice of his conscience was back again telling him the awful truth of what he was planning to do once he was back in America with Carlisle.

_Carlisle, I'm betraying Carlisle! He trusts me, has faith in me, and loves me as a son. How honored should I be that I bear the name Cullen, that I even live!_

_If I can call this living! And how fair is it that I, the first to contract the disease, should still live on earth when my little sisters have died when it should have been me, it should have been me!_

_But I'm still going to Hell no matter what I try to do to make the earth a better place. And killing is against the commandments. I am destined for eternal damnation why not save a couple lives before I get there?_

_Carlisle will be broken hearted!_

_If I get far enough away I won't be able to hear his thoughts and then it won't matter, I won't have to hear him. I won't have to feel guilty. Killing killers surly isn't a bad thing. I'll leave tonight, before he comes home. I have already masked my feelings for long enough._

_I'll miss you Carlisle, father._

"Edward? Edward! EDWARD!" the only thing Edward had left besides the piano was a short note laid on its bench.

It read:

Dearest Carlisle, My Father,

I have left for America. Please, please forgive me of what I am doing. I know that I am violating the trust that you have placed in me over these ten years. I will be forever grateful to you for all that you have done for me. You have been more than a guardian of my wellbeing, you are my father now. Forgive me. I am truly sorry. Please try and understand. I don't want to be a monster. I am trying so hard. But I, I just can't any longer.

Your ever faithful and loving son,

Edward Anthony Cullen

Carlisle sat down on the piano bench, staring at Edward's elegant script in sadness. No, he was not a good guardian. He had failed, as a guardian. As a father.

"Edward, why? I don't understand, you were doing so well, why?" He looked over the letter again and took in the name signed at the bottom. Edward Anthony Cullen.

"Goodbye my son," He carefully folded the letter back up and slid it inside the envelope, determined to find his son, someday, determined to do a better job when he got a second chance.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Well this is the third installment and this one is completely Carlisle with one old new character. Edward will come in the next chapter-one without Carlisle. R&R please. P.S. Ik that Clare de Lune is Edward's song but this one works much better with this chapter P.S. CdL is by Debussy, Etude is by Chopin and the other two are Mendelssohn and Tchaikovsky in that order incase you were wondering. Oh and its Carlisle's POV Intermezzo is by brahms.**

**Three- Clare de Lune and Intermezzo in A op.118, no.2**

She had just jumped. I hadn't understood why and it would have been helpful if Edwa- no I wouldn't even think my prodigal son's name. I missed him in loneliness' eternity. If only I had been a better father.

My mind should have been on the injured woman as I probed her wounds to see how or if they were fatal but my mind kept wandering. I feared the worst and was right to. Another poor soul was dying, and I just happened to be there to witness it. Depression hit hard at all the wrong times, this poor woman had just recently been in labor, I was sure of it. Her child must have died, I thought and I was suddenly, painfully jerked back to the memory of Edward, my lost and beloved son. In those ten years I had grown fonder of Edward than I had of any other person I had ever met in my 200 some years I had been on this earth. I had truly loved him as my son. Where had I gone wrong?

The woman was waking up and her breaths were ragged and difficult. I needed to act soon or else I would loose another person I suddenly happened to love. The moment I set eyes on her I knew this poor soul would be my eternal love, and vampires mate for life. Soon she would be like me and my son. And if I was able to find him, this woman could have a son like the child she had lost though _he _wouldn't be hers by birth.

She cried aloud in pain. Ohh the heart wrenching sight. Soon it would be over, and then she would endure three more days of even worse pain, at my hands, but it was to save her, and there was no wrong in saving a life was there?

"It's going to be alright," I murmured as she cried out again. I slowly tilted her head so her bare and pale neck was exposed to my waiting teeth, the venom dripping continuously from them. I leaned in and, as gently as I could, forced her to stop squirming so I could give her a clean bite. There was a lot of fight left in the dying woman I had so recently fallen in love with. My ice lips brushed her bare neck and she shuddered and was suddenly still. As I bit down hard she convulsed involuntarily and began to scream again. The wind from the storm drowned out her cries and washed the blood that was seeping from the wound in her neck, and the other wounds she had acquired, away from her soft skin. Just three more days and it would all be over.

She was waking up from the endless fire that the tearing of your soul from your body incurred upon you. Her screams had stopped. The longer you screamed the longer and harder the process would be. Her eyes opened, blood red. Unlike Edward she was thirsty and ready to hunt immediately. She bared her teeth, venom already filling her mouth. "My throat, it's burning," she rasped in an angelic voice.

"Calm down, I'll get you something to drink, but first you must tell me your name,"

"Esme, my name is Esme, but who are you?"

"My name is Doctor Carlisle Cullen, I am a vampire and you are to now, but don't worry, there are other options,"

"Why me?"

"You were dying and… the moment I saw you I loved you," that sounded reasonable enough. As I looked back into her eyes I could see the love I had for…Esme reflected back at me.

"Are you my guardian angel then, or can I love you back?"

I leaned down and lightly kissed her on the cheek. "You need something to drink, let's go,"

"Not human blood, I won't hurt humans,"

"Don't worry Esme; I don't drink human blood, only animal blood, like I said there are other options," I smiled and she smiled back at me. Time to go hunting.

When we had had our fill I took her to the place were I was staying and we discussed our lives and the future. Our future. She had smiled when I asked her about that.

"Well, we will get married of course and move to a home with, hmmm, classic taste, and charm" she answered decidedly.

Without thinking I answered, "And to go with that classical taste will be a piano of course," I immediately regretted my words. I had always made sure we had a piano when Edwa- no don't even think about it…

"Why, do you play?"

Her curious eyes had me gushing. I sighed sadly. "I had a son, Edwa… Edward. He was a vampire like us. He left me only a couple months ago, and I've been looking for him since. He loved the piano, he was the most amazing pianist I've heard my entire life, better than even Mozart. He had been with me for ten years. He was born and raised in Chicago but when the epidemic hit… he got sick first and then his parents and his sisters. It was his mother's dying wish that I save his life, the last of his family, at whatever cost. I had to change him. He was farther gone than any of the others had been when but still he hung onto life…somehow," Esme had her arms around me holding me as if I was a child, comforting me for the loss of Edward. I knew that she understood how I felt. She had indeed lost her newborn son, a little, fragile thing that could barely breathe when it was born. She hadn't even given him a name.

"I'll help you search high and low after we're married for _our_ son, Edward, so that _we_ can be one family," Esme sighed contented with her daydream.

"It's not that simple Esme, Edward, he, Edward left because he didn't completely agree with my diet, and I suspect for other reasons as well," I stood and went over to my writing desk going through my papers till I found Edward's letter, then I handed it to Esme.

"That's the only thing I have left other than memories," It sounded as if I were talking about my deceased son instead of my sort of alive and missing son, even to my own ears.

As Esme read Edward's goodbye letter she began to weep without crying. She didn't even know Edward; she must have been a really loving person…

"Your son loves you, he signed his name Cullen, not Masen, he recognizes that fact that he is hurting you and is disgusted but that fact. Ohh Carlisle I'm going to love Edward as if he were my own, I know I will,"

Getting married was even better than I had thought it would be. Esme was absolutely beautiful in her wedding gown and her smile was sweet as honey. We said our vows perfectly and the kiss was like the entire process had been-magic. Our entire lives were now devoted to one another _and_ to the finding of Edward of course. My life could barely function without my son at my side, constantly reassuring me about every little detail. I had grown so used to his abilities and his presence. The only thing I would ever regret about my wedding day was not having Edward there too. The thing I regretted everyday was not having been a good enough father to keep my son at my side and on the right path. But Esme completed me in a way that Edward couldn't. She was like my other half, where I was pessimistic, she was optimism. When I was sad, she was there to cheer me up. She loved me in the way that only a husband and wife could love.

I'd often been lonely, and though Edward and I had each other to count on, he often had seemed depressed and lonelier than I had ever been. I would never be lonely again, not with Esme at my side. I only hoped that Edward's suppressed depression could be reversed by a happiness like that which I found in Esme. I could only hope that those feelings of depression would someday dissipate. I could only dream that he'd find someone to make him complete, as Esme completed me. Deep down I was afraid to admit it but Edward had seemed so alone that I had my doubts about his ever finding someone to love and be loved by. Yet how could he not find someone? I could only hope.

We spent our Honeymoon on a little Island were I had built a house once. It never had a name but from that glorious night on it was named Isle Esme, for my lovely wife. Our coupling was as good if not better than human coupling would have been. It was the first time I had had sex with anyone. Esme was mine now, fully. Though we would never have children of our own loins, Edward, once we found him, would be enough for the both of us. I only hoped that we would find him soon, before the depression I knew had a hold on him, took him over and devoured what was left of our prodigal son.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hello to all this one was inspired by Adagio and Il Pensieroso. This one is Edward's POV about the heat of his hunting and the depression that he falls back into when he sees the monster in his eyes were the young Piano prodigy had once been yadeeda and I ramble on and on … I digress sorry this is a short chapter**

**Nefertiri**

Adagio and Il Pensieroso with a little Etude

The night was quiet, dark and quite cold. America was a cold, dark place full of cold, dark things that lurked in cold, dark places. My heart, that night was hard and cold, and my eyes were a deep dark blood red. Tonight was not the first night I had fed on human blood. More murders and crimes happened here in the cold, dark of New York City than anywhere else in America. I was stalking a killer now. I was on the hunt. The venom dripped from my teeth, or as I sometimes called them, my fangs. I was lusting for the blood of this man. I was lust to bring justice to the family around the corner whose husband and father was lying dead in the street.

The Great Depression was a time of the worst crime in American History, My throat never burned with the thirst of blood, the blood of killers, rapists and burglars. Only at twilight did I sometime feel sorry for my victims. It was the last time they would see the light of day. I came up on my prey quick and silent as lightning, but I had no thunder to proceed me. I was deadly. The last thing my victim would see in the world was my red eyes and my white teeth covered in venom and blood.

He rounded a corner, and I followed. He had reached a dead end and was walking towards the door. He only had the chance to knock once before I was on him. He screamed in horror when he saw my needle sharp teeth and my red eyes. I could hear his shoulder crack and splinter with the force I was exerting to hold him down. Another yelp.

"You killed a man back there," I growled menacingly. I hissed and bared my teeth, I was an animal. "Now you die," The murderer yelled at the top of his lungs in terror and shock at the sight of a beautiful, godlike young man with blood red eyes, pale skin and venom dripping from his fangs. I roughly turned his head to one side and leaned in for the kill. I never heard the footsteps coming, I was too enraptured in the man's last thoughts and the sharp sound of his next cracking almost to the breaking point; I had never been this violent before. I leaned in and hissed in his ear, "May God have mercy on your soul, I'm sure he won't on mine," My fangs brushed his neck my teeth pricked his skin slightly, I was taking my good natured time torturing the man, but was it worth it? To me it no longer mattered. I was long gone, a monster in my place. I sank my teeth into his flesh. He screamed as best a he could while I sucked the blood from his body.

Then light was shed upon me, exposing my dripping fangs, and my pale skin, darkly stained with the man's blood. I hadn't been careful, but at least I was quick. Before the woman who had opened the door could even glimpse me I had finished my meal and was gone, standing in a corner watching the scene before me play out. My, by now, golden topaz eyes widened. A young woman and to small children ran to the man's side, weeping and crying. What had I done? I stopped breathing and I swear I felt my eyes moisten at the sight. What had I become? The thoughts of the man's family were so overwhelming I could have screamed. I could hear the man's heart beat its last. I fled. Were all the cruel, terrible people I had killed, fathers and husbands like this man had been? Did they all have families that cared? I had never been so thoughtless and careless with my hunting before. I didn't even bother to look around me, I was so tired and in such pain that it didn't matter. My head was spinning. Dark began to fill my eyesight and a throbbing pain, pain being something I hadn't felt in a long time, filled my head. The black was encircling me again. I forgot to breathe. As far as anyone who saw me was concerned the blood covered young man lying in the alley was dead. Mugged and beaten. Dead. I was dead. I went unconscious. Let me die, I thought as my brain shut down. Anything is better than eternity. Even Hell and Purgatory.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: inspired by Ave Maria by Schubert, oh and the others Adagio-is by Vivaldi and Il P is by Liszt. Edward and Esme meet. Carlisle reunites with Edward blah blah blah just read and review!! : ) I consider last chapter to be some of my best work thought it is just a little umm disturbing. Thanks for reviews!**

**I love you all! when you review that is !**

**Nefertiri**

**I chose Ave Maria because Mary was mother of God (if you believe that I do but just in case) and Esme is being a mother for Edward when he is in most need of it. This is was a very fun chapter to write. Rated T for depression and because I like most other people on here am paranoid!**

**Wahooooooooo! I'm very hyper but I digress and so on and so forth!!**

**At the end of this story will be a complete list of Inspiration songs for those who are interested, titles composers and Albums. I sadly own nothing. : (**

**Nefertiri the longest A/N writer in the Universe surreal or otherwise!**

**Esme's POV and Edward's a little**

Ave Maria

Perpetual death surrounded the city and formed a perimeter around it, engulfing it. I could see sorrow wherever I went, sorrow and death. Pain and suffering accompanied it. Mid 1929 and still no end was in sight. The depression had hit wherever the symptoms of cities like this one could be perceptibly felt. Carlisle was working to cure the sick and dying, free of charge. The people of New York had it pretty bad. I scoured the streets for those who had been mugged and beaten and those who were dying. Our search for Edward had been put off by the national disaster and it hurt Carlisle terribly to think about where Edward was and how he was fairing. We doubted that he would come to New York City; it was too much like his home town.

I turned off down a side road but as I did so my keen peripheral vision caught sight of a ragged shirt corner. I doubled back quickening my pace so as to reach the young man in time. He lay there like a fallen angel, his glorious beauty astounding me. His shirt was covered in blood as was his face. The young man reminded me of someone but I couldn't quite grasp who it was. As I walked to his side, his eyes flew open wide and I could see terror in them. He was so pale.

"Are you alright?" I asked as his eyes moved quickly to me taking in my appearance. I thought I saw him sniff the air. His gaze became immediately hard, boring a whole through me. His eyes were the same dark shade of onyx like Carlisle's were sometime, when he was hungry or extremely tired. I caught my breath. He was a vampire.

"Who created you?" his deep and raspy voice came, tired through my surprise. He knew what I was. He must be older than me. I smiled and let my hand brush his disorderly hair out of his face; I put my hand on his cheek. I glared at me sadly. I was still so young in the new life that I had no idea what was wrong with him, but I still answered. He was the most pitiful of sights I had seen on my many walks of this street.

"A doctor, Carlisle Cullen, my husband," I replied and he shuddered and sighed, closing his eyes again and sinking back into unconsciousness; I had to get this poor creature back to Carlisle, maybe we could take him in too. Little had I known.

The angel moved to my side, kneeling in her pretty dress next to me. I gasped for breath, I hadn't remembered that I hadn't been breathing, and my eyes widened as I caught no smell glancing off her blood. She was like me. A vampire. I turned to her and looked her over taking one more breath of air to confirm my assumption.

"Are you alright?" the angel asked me.

I didn't answer; she hadn't noticed that I was like her yet. She must have been very young to the new life to be so oblivious as to what I was. She was the first of my kind I had met in New York and curiousity overtook me.

"Who created you?" my voice sounded as if I hadn't used it in years. She looked at me, slightly dazed and then answered, giving me enough of a shock to set me unconscious again.

"A doctor, Carlisle Cullen, my husband," she replied and I shuddered at the thought of Carlisle seeing me like this, and then I blacked out.

I had lifted the vampire onto my back and with one quick look around ran as fast as I could, which as a vampire was very fast, to Carlisle and my house. Once inside I slowed down to the normal speed of a vampire's walking pace. I laid him on the nearest bed and went to get some water and a cloth to clean him off. Carlisle was in the patient's room taking care of a destitute elderly woman. As I walked past him to get the things I needed I nodded to let him know I had a patient waiting. I then rushed back to the young vampire, who was by far an older vampire than I was, to see if he had awoken. Just as I had finished cleaning him off, Carlisle walked in and upon seeing the vampire stopped in his tracks, devastation and sorrow racked his face.

He said just one word. "Edward," His eyes conveyed pain the depth of with I had never seen before. "Edward, my son, my prodigal son," we had a couple servants that helped us around the house, both of which were now watching as Carlisle dropped to his knees at the foot of Edward's bed. My lover was in pain, I had to go to him but first I had the maids go to the assistance of the elderly woman.

"Carlisle, I'm so sorry, I should have-"He cut me off.

"No Esme, you brought him back to me, to us, Edward..."he sighed. "I was a terrible father, I had to have been, otherwise Edward would never have left and-"It was my turn to cut him off.

"No Carlisle, you are a wonderful father that you would blame yourself for something like this, it's not your fault," my arms were around him and then, suddenly his bowed head jerked up.

Edward's eyes were opened, and he looked ashamed of himself and clearly in pain. The look that Edward and Carlisle were sharing was one that I didn't understand, but then his glance turned on me and I flinched, ashamed that my son's penetrating gaze could do such a thing to me.

_It happens to the best of us Mother, don't be ashamed. My name is Edward, I'm Carlisle's son. Has he missed me terribly, he's shielding his thoughts from me, although he knows he shouldn't he did let that thought come through. _He paused. _Thank you, Mother, I need him a lot right now._

I smiled sadly, but then Edward winced, and a whole day of thoughts enveloped me and, Carlisle to I could tell was being washed over with thoughts. Edward's eyes had rolled back into his head and he was shaking visibly. The thoughts that washed over me were a months worth of thoughts, Edward's thought and the thoughts of… his victims. And then I realized just exactly why it wasn't 'that easy' as Carlisle had put it. Edward, my son, Carlisle's son, was a killer.

The terrified faces of his victims flashed past me and I could se things from their point of view to, a perk of being able to see into someone's head as Edward did. Through his victim's eye's was able to see Edward too. It was the first time I had seen a vampire truly hunting to kill, to hurt, for blood. The thoughts and emotions convey through them were almost overwhelming and in my fight to rid myself of them I realized what was really happening. Edward was so racked with guilt that he had lapsed into nightmare composed of the worst of his deeds. His voice flashed through my head – "May God have mercy on your soul, lord knows he won't on mine," – and I could see that this was his most recent meal. The aftermath of which led him to being in the alley way.

He was so consumed by guilt that he could no longer bare it, and a fierce cry erupted from his snow white throat. Carlisle was tending to him in an instant and I notice with annoyance that the maids were watching curiously from the doorway. I shooed them and returned to my son's side as Carlisle tried to comfort his son through their thought connection. It was depressing to watch as I imagined tears streaming down Edward's cheeks, something that was no longer possible form him.

Then the room grew silent. And then his words rang out in both my head and the room. It was a pitiful cry form mercy.

"Oh God forgive me of my sins, Maria, Maria, grant mercy oh God grant me mercy!"

Esme grabbed Carlisle's arm as they waited.

And Edward lapsed into a peaceful unconsciousness.


	6. Author Note

**Story discontinued – temporarily – so I can finish other fics that need finishing very badly!**

**Sorry**

**Luv, Nefertiri **


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